The Malcontent

Dooce rocks The New York Times (with a great shot of Leta, that little cutie).

Congratulations, Heather!

6-something A.M.–The Malcontent is sitting at home, mildly eating his breakfast of leftover Kung Pao chicken, when some bloated, pin-headed baldie comes on the news “explaining” how his coterie of nutjobs in his “nonprofit organization” are lobbying for a law that will “protect marriage” and “keep marriage the way God intended–between one man and one woman.”

“Wait,” said The Malcontent, “Did you just say you are attempting to have the government codify your religious beliefs into law?”

But did the guy on TV answer? Noooooo. He just kept on spouting his ignorant, gay-hating, illogical, unconstitutional blather, with frequent references to his imaginary friend-in-the-sky who he thinks agrees with him.

So, just in case the message hasn’t come through….

If you are reading this, you who disrupted my peaceful breakfast, you’re a jerk, your ideology is repugnant, keep your moronic religious dogma out of my statehouse, and get off the backs of my gay brothers and sisters, who just want to form a family under the legal structures of the secular state. You f***ing idiot.

Hmm. Whaddya know? I think I’m back.

Bloggers, prepare to jump the shark.

(Hey, we here at The Malcontent International Pop Culture Analysis Systems realize that “jumping the shark” has jumped the shark. But what are you gonna do?)

Maybe he could go get a job on The Daily Show?